People in love make me want to vomit
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
