the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
