everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
