Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds

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  (860): And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/xs1z
  Replies (112) Good night (2867) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?

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  (443): sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this? http://tfl.nu/z2x3
  Replies (13) Good night (760) Bad night (3226) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick

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  (714): he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick http://tfl.nu/v3uh
  Replies (14) Good night (4568) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3208) Bad night (680)
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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  (805): I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins. http://tfl.nu/apj9
  Replies (4) Good night (2897) Bad night (1455) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.

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  (905): Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights. http://tfl.nu/cnu2
  Replies (4) Good night (2259) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.

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  (804): Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed. http://tfl.nu/0qnd
  Replies (6) Good night (1511) Bad night (544)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

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  (773): while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future" http://tfl.nu/uwag
  Replies (17) Good night (3912) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.

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  (281): I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever. http://tfl.nu/j15t
  Replies (5) Good night (1863) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?

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  (850): if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair? http://tfl.nu/1ccg
  Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (1230) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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  (812): Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts http://tfl.nu/1kvs
  Replies (11) Good night (544) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.

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  (847): I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday. http://tfl.nu/eqk0
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (521)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

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  (304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game

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  (718): We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game http://tfl.nu/kk4m
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (127) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!

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  (910): Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome! (1-910): No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?! http://tfl.nu/r3ev
  Replies (16) Good night (1391) Bad night (672)

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