Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake