Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.