I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off