We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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