And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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