You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
