I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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