He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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