I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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