Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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