Farmville is her only friend.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
