tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's always time for handjobs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
