he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
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seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A bitchslap is in order.
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