I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
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New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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