I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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