Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
