i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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