this boner is exhausting
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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