The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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