i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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