I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a search helicopter?!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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