you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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