That's intense
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
