dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
