his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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