So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
