He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
