Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
