READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
