The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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