She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
