I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize