Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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