3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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