I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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