I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
