At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize