i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
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I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another