..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.