how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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