I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You made out with two different species that night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
