it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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