I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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