im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
