don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
barbara walters just said penis...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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