I just saw a hot homeless man
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
