the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
