nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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