if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
