omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Quick, to the slutcave!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
