I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
