I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
