My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
