did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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