I smell stomach acid.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
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All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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