hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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