Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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