ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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