Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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